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RX09286 / The farewell edition
Friday, October 30, 2026

In Loving Memory

E. ABES

June 16, 2025 – October 30, 2026

Pharmacist. Floater. Thursday enjoyer. Clocked in at 6:59 a.m. at least once.

He isn't dead. He's just leaving.

Pixel-style portrait of Ethan in a pharmacist's white coat
Transferred to a better place*
*Anywhere off the schedule.

E. Abes departed CVS on October 30, 2026, after 326 shifts and 2,644.88 hours across 22 different CVS pharmacies, the equivalent of 110 full days or 66 forty-hour weeks. He was born into the profession at store 09764, where he trained June 16–25, 2025. He floated the district like a ghost, once haunting 13 different stores in a single month (October 2025), before settling at 09286 for the final chapter. He is survived by the drive-thru window, the fax machine, 22 sets of keys, and an unfinished stack of modules.

By the Numbers

A life measured in hours. And meal-period penalties.

The record speaks for itself.

2,644.88

Total hours of service

1,029.78HOURS IN 2025
1,615.10HOURS IN 2026

326

Shifts clocked

Average shift: 8.11 hours.
Every one a character-building exercise.

22

Stores served

A district-wide farewell tour.
With no tour bus.

146.06

Hours of official overtime

The schedule said one thing.
The queue said another.

219

Days over 8 hours

“I'll just finish this one thing.”

23

Meal-period penalties

The lunch was late; so was the paperwork.

11.02hours

The longest day

Wednesday Nov 26, 2025
Thanksgiving Eve · Store 17515

3minutes

The shortest shift

Mar 29, 2026
A legend in and out.

8days

Longest streak

Jan 20–27, 2026
Days off were a theoretical concept.

192.6hours

Busiest month

October 2025
23 days · 13 different stores

5stores

Most stores in one week

Three separate times.
GPS deserves an honorable mention.

12days

Two stores in the same shift

Floated so hard he did it twice.

51.15hours

Busiest week

Week of Sep 20, 2026
“Full time” was just the starting point.

37 of 70

Weeks over 40 hours

A recurring commitment.

6:59 a.m.
11:00 p.m.

Earliest in. Latest out.

The fluorescent lights knew him well.

Thursday

His favorite day

61 Thursdays · 506 hours
A very specific love language.

50

Weekend days sacrificed

Rest in peace, brunch plans.

309

Lunches taken

33 minutes on average · 170 hours
7 full days of eating.

7

Holidays worked or paid

Including Thanksgiving and Christmas 2025.

Stats through Oct 28, 2026. The last two days were spent saying goodbye.

Places of Service

22 stores. A lot of “where do you keep the…?”

His district, dearly departed.

09286148 days1,212.42 h
First visit
Not provided
Last visit
October 30, 2026 · final shift

The final chapter

0852031 days253.42 h
First visit
Not provided
Last visit
Not provided

His second home

0984425 days190.33 h
First visit
Not provided
Last visit
Not provided
0393417 days125.40 h
First visit
Not provided
Last visit
Not provided
0976415 days117.95 h
First visit
June 16, 2025
Last visit
Not provided

Where it all began

0953014 days105.32 h
First visit
Not provided
Last visit
Not provided
0969513 days79.63 h
First visit
Not provided
Last visit
Not provided
0915110 days80.37 h
First visit
Not provided
Last visit
Not provided
1751510 days79.80 h
First visit
Not provided
Last visit
Not provided

Site of the Thanksgiving Eve marathon

164759 days65.68 h
First visit
Not provided
Last visit
Not provided
030698 days59.75 h
First visit
Not provided
Last visit
Not provided
113057 days55.23 h
First visit
Not provided
Last visit
Not provided
096337 days53.63 h
First visit
Not provided
Last visit
Not provided
100267 days40.18 h
First visit
Not provided
Last visit
Not provided
092414 days33.60 h
First visit
Not provided
Last visit
Not provided
097194 days32.62 h
First visit
Not provided
Last visit
Not provided
092212 days17.63 h
First visit
Not provided
Last visit
Not provided
164142 days13.68 h
First visit
Not provided
Last visit
Not provided
167232 days4.52 h
First visit
Not provided
Last visit
Not provided

A brief cameo

168751 day10.18 h
First visit
Not provided
Last visit
Not provided
112161 day8.50 h
First visit
Not provided
Last visit
Not provided
095671 day5.03 h
First visit
Not provided
Last visit
Not provided

Sorted by days served · bars show hours · tap a store for visit details. Known dates: the first day at 09764 and the final shift at 09286. Other exact visit dates were not supplied.

Pallbearers & Mourners

Carrying the memories. And probably the shift.

AZ

Frequent 09286 shift companion

Shared the most shifts. Now inherits the sacred duty of asking who is covering.

RB

Frequent 09286 shift companion

Shared the most shifts. Has requested a moment of silence from the drive-thru.

RD

Lunch companion

A regular at the lunch table. Bravely agreed that talking about work still counts as a break.

HD

Lunch companion

Helped keep the lunch tradition alive. There is no meal-period penalty for missing Ethan. Yet.

Order of Service

Please silence your phones. The pharmacy's phones will not.

  1. Born into the profession

    Hired at 09764. Training ran June 16–25, 2025. The modules began.

  2. The Great Float

    13 stores. Familiar with every pharmacy except the one on tomorrow's schedule.

  3. The Thanksgiving Eve marathon

    11.02 hours at 17515. Giving thanks for the eventual clock-out.

  4. The 8-day streak

    Jan 20–27. The calendar offered no comment.

  5. The final chapter at 09286

    The floater found a place to haunt regularly.

  6. The final shift

    Ethan leaves. His modules remain in our thoughts.

In lieu of flowers,
please…

Condolences may be expressed through basic operational competence.

  • Refill the receipt paper.
  • Answer line 2.
  • Verify the insurance.
  • Return the keys to all 22 stores.

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